Haikai & Haiku: Another Tan'renga Interlude

Issue #10: Another Haikai Challenge!

Baijin 梅塵 (1790-1855)

Last week we used Bunko and Issa’s renga as examples. This week let’s look at the work of Baijin (1790-1855), son of Baidō, from Nakano, both of whom were also among Kobayashi Issa's closest students. Issa often called on Baijin and Baidō when visiting northern Shinano, and in 1819 Baijin was entrusted with making a handwritten copy of Issa's Eighth Diary. (wkd) On September 27 in 1824 Baijin, Baidō, and Issa collaborated on the kasen renga (‘linked poem’) Tsuki No Komu (‘Moon's Cloud’). Four days earlier Issa had suffered a stroke while staying at Bunro's, but “despite his speech problems he was able to write, so some students attempted composing linked-verses with him by way of consolation.” (udg, p154-5) However, the kasen was abandoned after just 4 verses. Baijin wrote the hokku (‘opening verse’), and Issa the wakiku (‘reply’);

    
       cloudy moon,
       like a sheet of paper
       peeling away

       as expected, my stomach
       feels the hunger of autumn

月の雲一枚紙をはぐやうに [Baijin]
tsuki no kumo / ichimai kami wo / hagu yauni [udg; tr. Whyte]
moon 's cloud / a-sheet paper < / peel|tear <like

あっらへ通り腹の減る秋 [Issa]
atsurae dōri / hara no heru aki [udg; tr. Ueda]
order <expected / stomach 's hunger autumn
     

At the end of 1826, Issa stayed with Baijin and Baidō again and on the first day of 1827 they collaborated on the kasen Ganjitsu (‘New Year's Day’) together, for which Issa composed the hokku;

    
       new year's day—
       in this blossom world
       all of us together

元日や我等ぐるめに花の娑婆 [Issa]
ganjitsu ya / warera gurume ni / hana no shaba
new-year's-day – / we|us together <in / blossom 's world
      

I had such a fun time last week getting to read everyone’s responses to the Haikai Challenge, I thought we could do the same thing again this week! So, as in the example of the hokku/wakiku pair above by Baijin and Issa, here is one of my hokku which we can use as a starting point;

 
       slicing up
       the last of the apples—
       winter sun
 

Sit with the hokku for as long as you need, and then write a wakiku)—in couplet form—to “cap” the verse (together making a completed tanka). The lines of the couplet should be roughly the same length, and have a syllable count of less than 7 syllables each (although there’s no need to be precise). Don’t be shy—no prior knowledge is necessary, and you cannot get it ‘wrong’.

EXTENDED CHALLENGE: One thing I noticed about the responses last week was that they tended to make explicit one of the images implied in the hokku. In particular the image of ‘dawn’ was commonly reiterated as either the ‘sun’, ‘light’, or ‘morning’ (along with ‘stretching’, which seemed to be the most common ‘waking’ metaphor). This is a traditional approach in Western poetry, to develop images in more depth from stanza to stanza, and to make what is implied more explicit. While this can happen in renga, it is more typical to shift the imagery, to make the link implicit, rather than explicit. This can be seen in the term 脇 (‘waki’) in ‘wakiku’, which means “besides, next, nearby” (i.e. to “link”) as well as “off track” or “off topic” (i.e. to “shift”).

For instance, have a look at the exchange above between Baijin and Issa. You will note that Issa’s reply does not explain, explore, or explicate, any of the images in Baijin’s verse. Issa shifts the poem in an unexpected way, retaining the implicit order of the poem (the ‘peeling away’ of the clouds becoming the stomach emptied of food). The link emerges in the silence between the stanzas, rather than being directly stated. So, if you feel like an extra challenge, try to link through shifting rather than showing, through suggestion rather that substantiation. Of course, if this feels confusing—then just write whatever comes naturally! Fun is always more important than form.

Alright that’s it for this week. Hope everyone is well, and I am really looking forward to seeing the responses in the comments!

Haiku Thursdays

Notes for an unfinished miscellany on haiku in English, including poems, translations, histories, theories, et al. Explore the archive . . .